


the front row of last resorts

by doomedog



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Day 2, First Kiss, Hugo is a coward, M/M, Varigo Week 2020, varigoappreciationweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26855062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomedog/pseuds/doomedog
Summary: He thought he was just a mistake away, so he took a step ahead an became the mistake.(AU where Hugo stayed on Donella's side and betray Varian)
Relationships: Hugo/Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	the front row of last resorts

**Author's Note:**

> it's the second day, baby!  
> this is an AU where hugo betray the 7K gang and stayed with donella. pretty fucked up, don't you think?  
> i was highly inspire by jarrod spector's cover of even now and story of another us by 5 seconds of summer when i wrote this so i kinda recommend listening to those. anyways, enjoy!

The golds were spilling out of the chest, weapons were hung neatly on the wall, various chemicals were laid on the desk, his own crews were outside, what else he could've asked for? Well, so much, actually. Two years have passed since the day when the eternal library was opened. Everything went just as it planned. And now, everything he dreamed about has come true. His life couldn't be better.

Yet, something's still felt so wrong. He kept it away from everyone especially his mentor. He hid all those thoughts deep inside his head, all the mistakes he made, and let all of it out in the middle of the night, as he cried on his pillow and cursed himself to death. If it was just a single mistake, then why does it still hurt so bad? Why does it still haunt him?

\---

_The cold night air was thick and the green grassfield was suffocating. The night sky once again witnessed their fight, but this one was somehow harsher than the usual._

_"So all you want is to 'not worry us?', huh?" Hugo laughed angrily. "Listen, we don't care about you at that point, trust me. We care about our own lives. Like- who do you think you are? Just stop being selfish!"_

_"Me? Selfish?" He chuckled darkly at the older boy's raised voice. "Said someone who always left without warning, who never cleaned up his messes, who always wants to be trusted but never trusts anybody. You want to talk about selfishness? Know yourself, Hugo, fucking know yourself!"_

_"Well at least I'm aware, I know that I'm selfish, I know that I'm wrong, at least I never put anyone's life on the tip of my fingers like it's nothing!" He screamed back. He was just a breath away from the other boy's face, eyes filled with rage and irony._

_"I never said you're nothing to me. And please remind yourself that you started all of this! If- if you didn't steal anything from them, I wouldn't be dragged along to clean up your mess all by myself!"_

_Hugo's breath hitched for a second. He was right, he was the bottom of the problem. He was once again the one to blame. Because he always was. But his pride, his selfishness would never in a million years admit that._

_"Now can YOU stop being selfish? This is your fault, Hugo. Can- can you just admit that you're wrong?!" No, he can't._

_"Well, no-"_

_The next second was a blur as the younger crashed their lips together in a rough, sloppy manner. Their lips melted on each other's so right that it just felt wrong. But neither of them stopped, decided to consume all of the anger from the other's mouth, hoping for the best. or the worst._

_\---_

And there's Hugo, practically screaming to his bedsheet, his head banged the pillow hard as if that could cause him a brain trauma and forget everything. Tears spilled from his dull green eyes as he tried to not reminisce the taste of the younger's chapped lips on his, the gentle touch of his clothed finger, the word _'Hugh'_ coming out of his mouth- he hated the fact that he could still feel it all like it was planted in him. He hated the way he missed him a little too much.

He missed his voice, the stripes on his hair, his presence, he missed him so bad, and there's nothing he can do about it. He never heard his name these past two years and he never knew how or what he was doing out there. But he haunted him like there's no tomorrow.

He tried. He tried so hard to erase him, he tried to drown his feelings with glasses of liquors, he tried to replace him probably a little too much, he tried to satisfy himself, he tried to focus on his ego like he always did. But even his ego still chained with the thought of that goddamn alchemist. His ego was the one who tore them apart, anyway.

But that doesn't stop his mind from wondering about him. He always wondered where the other boy was, how he was doing, what was he doing, what was he feeling. He wondered and wondered without actually seeking an answer. Because he knew there would be no answer. He was never being forgiven so there won't be any answers for him.

He just knew Varian or Nuru or Yong would never forgive him. They gladly gave him love, trust, hope, and future, but he was glued to Donella's exhortations of distrust to realize that it's actually _real,_ that he actually could have a happy life, that he actually had a chance to be with the alchemist. _He was too scared of all of the monsters that he slowly became one_.

Now, how would they forgive him? He couldn't even forgive himself.

\---

_Well it was good when it lasted. When his palm raked the younger's cheek and his fingers tangled up in Hugo's hair. His mind was clouded with too many thoughts that he felt like he knew what was gonna happen._

_The dark haired would pull them apart and look deep into his eyes with an expression he couldn't quite catch and said something like;_

_"Lower your pride and just admit that you're wrong, can you, Hugh?" He would glare daggers at him, eyes slightly flickering between his eyes and his parted lips._

_"No, I won't. If that makes you kiss me again then I won't" so Varian would claim the older's lips again, softer but just as fierce as before. Pouring things they shouldn't give out in a single melancholic kiss. "Oh God, I think I'm in love with you," he whispered in the middle of the now-pretty-heated kiss._

_"I can't love back a brain made out of stone," the younger painted._

_"Alright, alright, I'm sorry...for everything"_

_"That's better, because I think I'm in love with you too," Varian smiled and continued the kiss, and as the night flowed it probably became more._

_But in fact he knew that he could be wrong, there's so many chances. His thoughts raced as the younger pulled away, looked deep into his eyes with an expression he couldn't quite catch and said;_

_"Lower your pride and shut the fuck up, can you, Hugh?" The younger said as he glared daggers at him. Eyes slightly flickered between hatred and determination._

_"No, I won't. If that makes you kiss me again then I won't" He smiled as he leaned for another kiss, he knew this was going to happen. He would kiss him again and he would finally apolo-_

_"No!" He was shaken by the younger's strong push, giving them an awkward distance. "Now, are you aware that you're selfish, Hugo? Because I certainly am. And I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen," and then he left him alone with the now dulled sky. He was so close to apologize, he was so close to admit his feelings, he was so close to have a reason to stay and turn his back on Donella. But instead he made a taunting choice of words that offended the shit out of Varian. Oh why's it so good to put your head on the clouds and thought he would accept you just like that._

_He made a mistake, he was wrong, just like he always did. So the next day, he took revenge on himself, he turned his back, he stole the book and broke the device, and then he left._

\---

_He thought he was just a mistake away, so he took a step ahead became the mistake._

He was _so close_ to taking the blame and the history would be written differently. If he wasn't being too smug and got ahead on himself maybe there's a little chance.

But he took _all_ the blame, after all, even when it's too late. He took every blame for everybody and every single blame for himself too. For never had stood any chance, for letting himself drown, for losing his family, his only friends, his only love, his only hope, _his only dreams._ And it felt like the last of himself died along with the memories, all's lost _just like him._

Well, it's funny isn't it? how a single, first, little kiss could determine what happened in the last, pathetic chapter of the history. And the biggest problem is that even now that he finally sat at the top of the world, when he finally knew his name, when he found a better life, he never felt any better, not without the last piece of his true self,

_not without him._

**Author's Note:**

> and yes, the kiss happened a the night before they open the library. he was so near to just freely catch feelings an leave donnie but nu uh.


End file.
